Fighting Your Demons

I wanted to write on this topic for a long time, but I was hesitant because I did not want to expose my weaknesses. However, I have realized now that writing about this won’t only help me relieve my burden, it might also help others going through a dark time in their lives.

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We all have demons inside of us, waiting to be triggered by a mere negative thought or action, it is okay to mess up sometimes as long as we learn and grow from our mistakes. We are not born to be perfect but we can try to be a better version of ourselves.

It is not like I grew up in an extremely harsh environment or anything, but it was still difficult. I have always been hard on myself and continuously overthink about everything. Part of me felt like I did not experience the usual carefree and stress-free environment in my childhood as I always felt left out in the crowd. Even though my family is very supportive, at the time, I couldn’t communicate with them because of the age gap. Although I appeared very calm and quiet, I always felt like there was a hurricane brewing inside of me because I wasn’t good at expressing myself. I did not know how to cope with my emotions and problems due to which I would constantly experience migraines.

I had a lot of insecurities while growing up because I was always compared with others, and that made me felt as if I wasn’t good at anything. I strongly felt hatred towards others and myself, even for the people who were close to me, and that made me more disgusted with myself. I felt as if I was living a double life, a fake life. The only thing that kept me going was my belief in God; when I had lost hope in myself and the people around me, I found hope and comfort while praying and talking to God. I wasn’t even completely sure if he existed or listened to me, but somehow crying silently in the pitch dark would ease my pain and make me hold on for a little longer.

Image from Unsplash by nega

My point is that you always find the light even in the darkest of times. Sometimes you would feel like giving up on everything and everyone, but you need to look for something that keeps you going. You just need to be a little patient in life and wait for the bad time to pass. You need to understand that those terrifying moments are there to teach you something, to make you stronger, and to make you cherish the little things in life.



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